Legal

AskedOut Safety Tips

Meeting someone new should feel exciting: a little nervous-excited, maybe, but never unsafe. The vast majority of people on AskedOut are exactly who they say they are: people in France looking to meet someone. But no dating app, ours included, can guarantee who is behind a profile. What we can do is build tools that keep you in control, and tell you honestly how to use them, along with everything else we would want a friend to know before a first date.

Read this once now, and come back to it whenever something feels off. Trusting your gut is a skill, and it gets sharper with a bit of knowledge behind it.

The five-minute version

If your date is tonight and you read nothing else, do these eight things. The rest of this page explains why each one matters.

Keep the conversation on AskedOut until you have met; our safety tools stop at the door.
Have a short video or voice call before meeting.
Never send money or financial details to someone you have not met, whatever the story.
Meet somewhere public, and stay somewhere public for the whole first date.
Tell a friend who you are meeting, where, and when you will check in. Then check in.
Get yourself there and back; your own transport is your exit.
Take your phone, fully charged, and keep it with you.
Watch your drink, know your limits, and leave the moment anything feels wrong. You owe nobody an explanation.

Staying safe online

Never send money. Ever.

This is the one rule with no exceptions, so let’s be blunt about it: anyone on a dating app who asks you for money is scamming you. Not sometimes. Not “usually, but my situation is different.” Every time.

Romance scams follow a script, and knowing the script is the best protection there is:

The long build-up. Scammers are patient. They may talk with you for weeks, message you good morning every day, remember your dog’s name, and tell you they’ve never felt this way before. This is not love; it is an investment. The warmth is the product.
The sudden emergency. Once trust is built, a crisis appears: a medical bill, a stranded relative, a frozen bank account, a customs office holding a package or a plane ticket “just until the fee is paid.” The story is always urgent, always emotional, and always solvable with your money.
The “investment opportunity.” In the scam the police call pig-butchering, the person doesn’t ask for money directly. Instead they casually mention how well they’re doing trading cryptocurrency, and offer to teach you. The platform they show you is fake. Small “profits” you can withdraw early are bait; the moment you invest real money, it’s gone.
The untraceable payment. Gift cards, cryptocurrency, wire transfers, money apps to strangers: scammers push these because they cannot be reversed. No legitimate person will ever ask a new romantic interest to buy gift cards and read out the codes.
The document grab. Some scams skip the money and go for your identity: requests for a photo of your ID card, your passport, your bank details “to send you money.” Never share identity documents, card numbers or banking credentials with a match.

The rule that makes all of this simple: any request for money, financial help, investment participation or financial information = report and block, immediately. Don’t debate it, don’t feel rude. If the story were true, they’d have real people in their real life to ask. Requests for money are banned on AskedOut, and every report is reviewed by our moderation team.

If you have already sent money, you are not stupid and you are not alone. These scams are industrial-scale and they work on smart people every day. Stop all contact, keep the conversation as evidence, report the profile to us, contact your bank immediately (some transfers can be recalled if you act fast), and file a report with the police. You can also report the scam online via PHAROS at internet-signalement.gouv.fr.

Protect your personal information

Your match doesn’t need your surname on day one. They definitely don’t need your address.

Early in a conversation, keep the details that could locate or identify you to yourself: your full name, your home address, your workplace and work schedule, where you go to the gym, the route you run every morning. None of these feel sensitive on their own; the risk is in the combination. A first name plus a workplace plus a neighbourhood is often enough to find someone’s front door.

AskedOut helps you catch one of these moments: if you’re about to send something that looks like a street address, the app shows you a warning before the message goes out. That check happens entirely on your phone. We never see what you typed. When you see that warning, take it as a built-in pause: do I know this person well enough for them to know where I live? Sometimes the answer is yes. Make sure it is a decision, not a reflex.

The same goes for your daily routine. “I’m always at the café on Rue X on Saturdays” tells a stranger exactly where to find you, every week, without your phone ever leaving your pocket.

Keep the conversation in the app

One of the most consistent patterns among scammers and bad actors is the rush to move you somewhere else (WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram, SMS), often within the first few messages. There is a reason: our safety tools stop working the moment you leave.

Staying in AskedOut chat means:

Your text messages are end-to-end encrypted. They are readable only on your device and your match’s, not by us and not by anyone in between.
Reporting works. You can long-press any message to report that exact message, and our moderators can act on it. Once a conversation moves off-app, we can’t help you with what happens there.
Evidence is preserved. If someone harasses or threatens you, the record exists where our moderation team can review it.

Someone genuine will understand “I’d rather chat here for now” without complaint. Someone who keeps pushing after you have said that once is telling you something. Listen to it.

Sextortion: don’t let anyone hold an image over you

Sextortion is when someone obtains an intimate image of you, sometimes real and sometimes fabricated, and threatens to send it to your family, employer or followers unless you pay or send more images. It’s one of the fastest-growing online crimes, and it often starts on dating apps with flattery and a request to “trade pictures.”

The best protection is upstream: never share an intimate image you couldn’t live with becoming public. Not because you should expect betrayal, but because once an image leaves your phone, you no longer control it, encryption, disappearing messages and promises included. That’s true on every app ever made.

AskedOut adds a layer on the receiving end: images you receive in chat are automatically blurred on your device if they appear to contain nudity, and stay blurred until you choose to tap and reveal. You will never be ambushed by an image you did not ask to see, and you can report the message without ever unblurring it. The app also blocks screenshots and screen recording of chats on a best-effort basis, but don’t rely on that: determined people can always photograph a screen with another device.

If someone threatens you with an intimate image:

Do not pay. Paying does not make the threat go away; it confirms that you will pay, and the demands escalate. Blackmailers rarely follow through when victims stop responding; they move on to targets who do.
Do not send more images. Whatever they promise.
Keep everything. Screenshots of the threats, the profile, usernames, payment demands. Evidence is your leverage, not your shame.
Report to us: long-press the messages and report the profile so that we can remove the account.
Report to the police. Sextortion (extortion, article 312-1 of the French penal code) is a crime. File a complaint at any commissariat or gendarmerie, and report the content online via PHAROS at internet-signalement.gouv.fr. Non-consensual sharing of intimate images is itself a criminal offence in France, whether or not money is involved.

You did nothing wrong by trusting someone. The person committing a crime is the one making threats.

Catfishing: is this person real?

A catfish is someone using photos and a life story that are not theirs, whether for money, for attention, or for worse. The red flags are remarkably consistent:

They will not get on a video or voice call. Ever. The camera is always broken, the connection always bad, the timing always wrong, for weeks on end.
They can’t meet. They’re perpetually travelling, deployed abroad, working on an oil rig, or hit by a fresh crisis every time a date approaches.
The photos are too polished. A profile made entirely of professional-grade shots, or photos that feel like they belong to a model or influencer, deserves scepticism. A reverse image search takes thirty seconds and regularly unmasks stolen photos.
The story wobbles. Small inconsistencies: their job changes, their city drifts, and details from last week’s conversation do not match this week’s.
They rush off-app immediately and push intimacy at high speed. Real connections can move fast; manufactured ones almost always do.

Two AskedOut tools help here. First, a short video or voice call before meeting: arranged however you both prefer, is the single fastest catfish filter that exists. Anyone genuinely interested in meeting you will happily show their face for two minutes. Second, look for the Verified badge: profiles marked verified have passed our photo verification, in which the person takes a live selfie in the app (they can’t upload one from their gallery) that’s compared against their profile photos. The selfie is used only for the check and then deleted.

One modern caveat: AI tools can now fabricate a convincing face in photos and, increasingly, on live video. If a call feels subtly wrong (flat lighting, odd blinking, lips slightly out of sync, a voice that hesitates strangely), trust the observation and treat it as a red flag. No single check is conclusive on its own; what makes someone credible is the combination of a live call, a verified badge, a consistent story, and time.

Be clear-eyed about what the badge means: it confirms the person in the photos is the person holding the phone. It does not vouch for their intentions, their honesty about their life, or their behaviour. A verified profile can still lie; an unverified profile can still be lovely. Treat verification as one useful signal, not a background check. We do not run background checks, and no dating app’s checks are a substitute for your own judgment.

If you believe a profile is fake or using stolen photos, report it from the profile screen. You do not need to be certain; that is our moderators’ job, and reporting is confidential. The person is never told who reported them.

Meeting in person

The first meeting is where online safety becomes real-world safety. None of the following is about paranoia. It is about arranging things so that if anything goes wrong, you have options.

Video chat before you meet. A short call confirms your match is who they appear to be and gives you a feel for them that text never will. If they refuse every form of call but still want to meet, think hard about why.

You plan the first date, or plan it together, in public. Meet in a busy public place: a café, a bar with people in it, a restaurant, a park in daylight. And stay public for the whole first date. Be politely immovable about this. “Come to mine, I’ll cook” or “let’s meet somewhere quiet” is a no for a first date, however charming the offer. A good person will suggest somewhere public without being asked, and will not sulk when you do. The same applies to isolated spots, hotel rooms, car parks, hikes and drives: not for a first meeting.

Tell a friend, specifically. Not just “I have a date.” Tell someone you trust who you’re meeting (name, profile screenshots), where you’ll be, and when you expect to check in. Then actually check in. Agree in advance what your friend should do if they don’t hear from you. This costs two minutes and changes everything about how a bad situation ends. If you’re comfortable with it, share your live location with that friend for the evening using your phone’s built-in location sharing. It is invisible to your date and invaluable if plans change.

Get yourself there and back. Take your own car, public transport or a ride-hailing app, both ways. Don’t let a first date pick you up at home (they’d learn your address before you’ve decided they should have it), and don’t depend on them for the ride back, because the person driving decides when the evening ends. Your own transport is your exit, no negotiation required.

Keep your phone charged and on you. Your phone is your check-in with your friend, your ride home, your map, and your emergency call. Charge it before you leave, take it with you when you step away from the table, and if an evening runs long, do not let it die quietly in your pocket.

Guard your drink. Order it yourself, watch it being made when you can, and keep it with you: take it to the bathroom with you, or finish it first. If your drink was out of your sight, or it suddenly tastes or looks strange, leave it and order a fresh one. Drink spiking happens in France as everywhere; if you begin to feel far drunker or foggier than what you drank could explain, tell staff immediately, get somewhere safe, and call someone you trust.

Stay alert enough to stay in charge. You do not have to be a monk. Know your limits and stay inside them. Alcohol and anything else that dulls your judgment dulls exactly the instincts this whole page is about.

Leaving is always allowed. You can leave a date at any moment, for any reason, or for no reason you could put into words. You don’t owe an explanation, a “sorry,” the end of the meal, or a second drink. If asking the staff for help makes leaving easier, do it; bar and restaurant staff have seen it all. Anyone who reacts badly to you leaving has just proven you right to leave.

Trust your instincts; they are data. That vague discomfort you can’t justify is your brain pattern-matching faster than your conscious mind can explain. You don’t need a reason that would stand up in court. Feeling off is the reason.

If you’re LGBTQ+

Dating while LGBTQ+ can carry risks that other members never have to think about, and pretending otherwise wouldn’t keep anyone safe.

Who can infer your orientation. On AskedOut, the genders you’re interested in shape who sees your profile, which means the people who see you can draw conclusions about your orientation. In France that information is protected, and you’re in control of it: you gave explicit consent for it when you created your profile, and you can withdraw that consent at any time in the app. Withdrawing it deletes the orientation data and pauses your discovery, so your profile stops being shown. Nobody, match or stranger, is ever entitled to out you, and on AskedOut, outing someone or threatening to is a serious violation of our Community Guidelines. Report it.

If you’re not out. Think before putting anything in your profile or photos that could identify you to people you are not out to: colleagues, family, neighbourhood landmarks. Take extra time before meeting, and favour first dates in places where you feel at ease being visibly on a date.

If you travel. AskedOut is built for France, but people move. Dozens of countries still criminalise same-sex relationships, and in others the law is safe but the street is not. Before using any dating app abroad, check the local legal situation and social climate, be cautious about profiles that push hard for a quick meeting (in some countries apps are used for entrapment), and meet only in public places you have chosen.

If something happens. Homophobic and transphobic violence and insults are crimes in France, with aggravated penalties. In an emergency call 17 or 112. You can report online hate content via PHAROS, and 116 006 (France Victimes) supports all victims regardless of gender, orientation, or circumstances.

Consent

Consent is at the heart of every good encounter, online and off, and it’s simpler than people make it: it is an enthusiastic yes, not the absence of a no.

Consent is freely given. It can’t be extracted through pressure, guilt, persistence, sulking or bargaining. “They eventually gave in” is not consent; it’s the failure of it.

Consent is ongoing and revocable. Saying yes to a date isn’t saying yes to a kiss. A kiss isn’t a yes to more. Yes last time isn’t yes this time. And anyone can change their mind at any point, including partway through, and that decision must be respected instantly and without punishment. In France as elsewhere, continuing after someone withdraws consent is sexual assault.

Intoxication changes everything. Someone who is drunk or high cannot meaningfully consent. If your date is significantly intoxicated, the only right move is to make sure they get home safe, and nothing else. “They were drunk” is never a defence; it’s a description of the offence.

A no is a complete sentence. So is silence, hesitation, a frozen reaction, or pulling away. If you are not sure, ask; if the answer is not a clear, comfortable yes, it is a no. People who respect you will find nothing awkward about being asked.

This applies in chat too: sending sexual messages or images to someone who hasn’t clearly welcomed them is harassment, and on AskedOut, unsolicited sexual content leads to a permanent ban.

If you experience sexual assault

If someone assaults you, nothing about it is your fault: not the app, not the date, not what you drank, wore, said, or agreed to earlier. The only person responsible for an assault is the person who committed it.

If you’re in danger now, call 17 (police) or 112, or text 114 if you can’t speak safely.
Get medical care as soon as you can, even without visible injuries, for your health first and because hospital staff can document evidence. In France you can go to any emergency department, and some hospitals have dedicated medico-judicial units (UMJ).
Preserve evidence if you can. As hard as it is, try not to shower, change clothes, or clean up before being examined, and keep the messages, the profile, and anything else from the app.
You can file a complaint at any police station or gendarmerie, at any time. There is no obligation to decide immediately, and you can bring someone with you. You can also be accompanied by an association at every step.
You don’t have to carry it alone. 3919 (Violences Femmes Info) is free, anonymous, and doesn’t appear on phone bills. 116 006 (France Victimes) offers free support to all victims of crime, of any gender and in any situation, and can guide you through medical, legal and psychological support near you.

Whatever you choose to do next, and at whatever pace, support exists and you deserve it.

Sexual health is safety too

If a connection becomes physical, looking after your sexual health is part of looking after each other, and it is easier in France than most people realise.

Protect yourself. Condoms remain the only protection that works against both pregnancy and most sexually transmitted infections. Carry your own; relying on someone else to have thought about it is not a plan. In France, pharmacies dispense condoms free of charge to anyone under 26.

Get tested, and talk about it. Regular screening is normal, responsible, and nothing to be embarrassed about, especially with a new partner. In France, HIV testing is free in any medical laboratory, without a prescription and without advance payment, and CeGIDD centres (centres gratuits d’information, de dépistage et de diagnostic) offer free, confidential screening for HIV and other STIs in every département. Talking about testing before intimacy isn’t awkward; it’s the conversation two adults who respect each other have. Someone who reacts badly to being asked is telling you something.

If something went wrong. After unprotected sex with a risk of HIV exposure, post-exposure treatment (PEP) exists but must be started as soon as possible (ideally within hours, and at most within 48) at any hospital emergency department. Emergency contraception is available in pharmacies without a prescription.

Look after yourself, too

Safety includes your peace of mind. Dating apps are meant to add something to your life, not drain it.

Take breaks. If swiping starts to feel like a chore or a referendum on your worth, close the app for a few days. It will still be there; so will people worth meeting.

Blocking and unmatching are self-care, not cruelty. You never owe a stranger continued access to you. If a conversation turns unpleasant, boring, or just off, ending it is a complete and legitimate move, and no explanation is required.

Expired matches are normal. On AskedOut, matches expire after 24 hours if neither of you sends a message. That is by design, because it keeps things moving, and it means an expired match is a non-event rather than a rejection. Don’t read a story into it.

Emergency numbers and support in France

Save these. All of them are free.

Number / service	What it’s for
17	Police (immediate danger)
112	European emergency number (works from any phone)
114	Emergency SMS/text relay for deaf and hard-of-hearing people
3919	Violences Femmes Info, an anonymous helpline for women facing violence (it does not appear on phone bills)
3114	National suicide prevention line, 24/7
116 006	France Victimes, free support for all victims of crime
PHAROS: internet-signalement.gouv.fr	Official French portal for reporting illegal online content (scams, sextortion, threats)

Every report made on AskedOut, whether of a profile or of a single message, is reviewed by our moderation team, and reporting is always confidential. If something happened that these pages don’t cover, or you’re not sure whether to report it, write to us: contact@askedout.com. When in doubt, report; you may be protecting the next person.

Effective date: 28 July 2026.